No Simile for Parenthood

Over the past six months, I’ve learned a great deal. I’ve learned that the best way to avoid lying is to not set them up for it, that you can pretend veggies are a treat if you play it right, and that it’s dangerous to let a baby have too much naked time (read: explosive poop all over the floor). More than anything, though, as I reflect on all of these deeply profound findings, I’ve realized one thing: there’s no simile for parenthood. There is just no solitary part of life that it can be compared to. I’ve tried.

Like jumping out of an airplane with a parachute? Much scarier.

As scary as jumping out of an airplane without a parachute? Close, but not quite.

As crazy as a mosh pit? Crazier.

As joyful as flash mob? That’s only a small slice.

As funny as a sitcom? C’mon.

None of these even begins to capture the wholeness of parenting. More entertaining than a movie, more exhausting than a marathon, more rewarding than any job. These are things I didn’t know getting into all this six months ago. I know we are in a foster care role right now, but that doesn’t stop the fullness of these emotions being felt. I knew our life would change, but I didn’t know I’d be in tears bringing one of our five-year olds to the ER or laughing hysterically when our ten-month old gets crazy hyper before bedtime. These are things I’m glad I didn’t know getting into this thing, because it’s been a wonder discovering them.

For the past two months, we have been caring for a baby in addition to the other seven girls. Baby Ana has been the anecdote to any stress we were feeling before that point. We are very grateful that she sleeps through the night, eats nearly everything we can give her, and is just an absolute joy to be around. She has gone from being “severely” malnourished to “moderately” malnourished in these two months as well as caught up on her developmental milestones. We expect her to start walking and talking (or at least more coherently babbling) any day now. We are not Ana’s adoptive parents, but I could not have imagined the love that has grown between us in the last two months of life together. Now I can’t imagine the words to describe it. If any of you think of a simile for parenthood, feel free to let me know.  

The closest thing I can think of is it’s like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute while also chasing after eight little ones who also don’t have parachutes and having faith that the guy above you does, indeed, have a parachute.

***If you'd like to support us on this crazy journey, visit: https://www.youcaring.com/brooklin-becca-nash-598628

New additions and transitions

But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 

About a month ago, we received a two-day baby announcement: we were bringing home an eight-month year old! Two days later, we moved the crib, her clothes, some diapers, and a little bit of formula.  We welcomed in our baby girl.  The questions and worries we had during that two-day period faded as we received this tiny but grand blessing.  Ana, which means favor or grace, is truly one of our greatest gifts from God.  How good is He to gift us with this bundle of joy, silly noises, and cuddles (plus some poopy diapers, which aren’t so bad).  We do not have legal foster parent status, but within the institution of the Fundacion, we are her primary caretakers, 24/7.  All cries during the night, all diapers, all meal times, all giggles and milestones, all doctor appointments and court hearings, all of this is our blessing. 

Our life has changed in many ways in this past month, as you can imagine.  From learning about diets of malnourished infants to teething, we have come a far way in our baby know-how. Sweeping more, tiptoeing to the bathroom during nap time, peek-a-boo, and working our blender to the grind is our new normal.  We still have to figure out how to not lose her teeny-tiny socks and how to respectfully navigate parenting advice from others, but overall I think our happy baby approves of our novice parenting skills.  As for our other girls (now 7), they are excellent big sisters, making sure she never puts anything small in her mouth and that she has constant interaction and stimulation (though sometimes I have to tell them to tone it down a little).  It has been especially rewarding to see our youngest 5 year old who has a similar past as Ana, and who is still malnourished and developmentally the size of a 3 year old, grow out of the role of baby into the role of big sister.  More than that, one of our most particularly troubled girls, who previously rejected almost all forms of love, has somehow softened and has had more joy in her attitude and interactions with others since helping take care of Ana.  Grace truly does cover this entire troop of ours.  As for now, we have to get back to the dishes and cleaning before Anna wakes up! 

No pictures of Ana yet (we're terrible at picture taking), but here's three of our girls doing their thing!

To love is to be vulnerable

March was a crazy time for everyone here in Huehue. We hosted three mission teams in five weeks, my family came to visit, we had to leave for Mexico to renew our visas, moved house, and saw one of our family sibling sets adopted and flown to the United States. Also, one of the girls lost a tooth and another found 5 quetzales, so it’s been an eventful few weeks. Needless to say, the last month brought both a lot of blessings and a lot of busyness to the community.

More than anything, we have been absolutely blown away by the amount of support we’ve received in the last couple of months. In the last ten weeks, we’ve received Spanish and English children’s books, blankets, lice combs, undergarments, and a good amount of chocolate (for sanity). We want to thank each and every person who has shown so much generosity over the last couple of months. We can tell you that the girls have felt the outpouring of love.

The biggest piece of news from this month is that Regina, one of the oldest girls we were taking care of, has been adopted along with her siblings by an American couple. This last weekend, when we saw them off, was the definition of bittersweet. We could not be happier to see Regina and her siblings taken into a loving, stable home as they continue to grow up. At the same time, there were a good amount of tears as we realized they were leaving our Huehue family for good. Please keep Maria, Cristina, Regina and Daniel (as well the Delap parents) in your prayers as they make this exciting, scary, and wonderful transition.

Beyond this, our biggest prayer request is for wisdom and provision as we look to transitioning into full family-style housing very soon. The idea of living here at the Fundacion and taking care of the girls as a ‘trial’ was to see how the kids responded and how it works over all. After seeing many behavioral issues come to light, attitudes change, and love received, we’re convinced that the verdict is: it works. With this in mind, we want to have the girls move in with us as soon as possible, and start transitioning the rest of the Fundacion into a similar setting. This will take a lot of prayer, and even more faith, to bring about. We need finances, willing house parent volunteers, and a huge amount of grace to move forward. Please join us in prayer as we move forward seeing this accomplished.

During the last two months, we’ve been through a steep learning curve – and we’re still far from the top. Between running Google searches for things like “best essential oil for bee stings” and “how to discipline a child who breaks something” – along with quite a bit of prayer and trial and error – we’ve learned a lot about what it means to love unconditionally. Not that we have shown love unconditionally – instead, our girls and Jesus have shown us unconditional love as we’ve lost our patience and made many mistakes along the way. We look forward to experiencing more of this kind of love firsthand.

As a final thought, I want to share a post that one of our teammates/workplace proximity associate/friends/family members posted. Marcos has been here for just about two years, and sums up our thinking about the “new normal”. After a year and a half in Guatemala (and counting!), and two months with these girls, “normal” has come to mean something completely different. Check it out here: https://marktomarcos.wordpress.com/2016/04/07/normal/

All Joy Reminds

The best part about stories is that they change. Our stories used to include funny cross-cultural exchanges or adventures in travel. Now, our very best stories consist solely of sassy five year olds, cleaning poopy hands, and the adventure of making popcorn for nine little girls who are still fascinated by the notion. And we couldn’t be happier about the change.

This first month as “house parents” has been more joyful, more difficult, and more laughter-filled than we could have imagined. Over the past four weeks, we’ve created a new story every day (mostly thanks to the shenanigans of our girls). Just like the first month of our marriage, the last month with the girls has taught us a lot about how to love, showed us where many of our faults lie, and taken a huge dose of patience.

A typical day (if there even is such a thing) starts at 5am, when we wake the girls up to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get ready for school. This in and of itself is a challenge; by the time you get one up and changing, another may be back asleep in their bed. To help everyone wake up a little faster, Brooklin sings the “Good Morning” song from Bullfrongs & Butterflies (which the girls have now taken to singing all hours of the day). Breakfast is at 6am, the older girls go to school at 7, and the littles leave just before 8.

After 4 hours to ourselves (which really translates into cleaning, admin work, etc) all of the girls are home by 1pm. They change out of their uniform, eat lunch, brush their teeth, and have a couple hours of free time. We’ve been introducing nap time (a new concept to them), and it’s gone really well, even if they don’t know it yet. Sometimes only one or two end up falling asleep after reading to them; a couple of times we’ve had eight of them sleeping all at once (a huge success in our book). After a (hopefully) successful naptime, we have a snack altogether before they head to tutoring for their Spanish classes. Dinner is at 6pm, and involves wrangling all nine of the girls into one table and ensuring they eat all of their food (a difficult task when they are so eager to share). 

After dinner, it’s shower and bedtime. Some nights this looks like everyone getting showered and changed into their pajamas in twenty minutes – which also translates into enjoying time to read, play, organize clothes, or just cuddle. Other nights are not so easy, and it can take two hours before they are all ready for bed. Needless to say, our favorite nights are the twenty-minutes-to-change-an-hour-to-read ones.

Hopefully that overview gives you an idea of what our “day-to-day” looks like. However, the best moments aren’t found in the schedule. The best moments are the ones when we get to be silly during bedtime; when we see a five-year old girl go from hitting as a first response to using her words; when we hug and pray with the girls at night; when we greet them coming home from school, excited about what they learned that day.

While we have definitely seen progress in the last few weeks, we definitely have many things we are continuing to pray into, and we would love you all to partner with us in that. As CS Lewis wrote, “All joy reminds” – it reminds us of what is about to be, and can be accomplished by strength and love in the Lord. Some of our specific prayer requests include:

-       Breakthrough with two of the girls, who are still resistant to both our love and our role as authority figures

-       Increased patience with the girls in long days

-       The ability to rest in the time that’s given two us (in the mornings and Saturdays)

-       The continued strengthening of our marriage, as we go abruptly from being completely on our own to having the responsibility of parenthood

-       Wisdom in how to balance respect toward Guatemalan staff and implement what we see as loving discipline and a nurturing environment

-       Continued financial provision, as our available time to work towards paying off our student loans is even less than before

Thank you all for taking the time to read through our update, and particularly for partnering with us in prayer as we continue on from here! Feel free to message or email us with any questions (or encouragement)!

If you're interested in supporting us in our work here, check out: http://youcaring.com/brookandbeccainguatemala 

Quiet Hours Turning to Years

Sometimes life throws you crazy circumstances that require prayer and a heavy dosage of faith to get through. Other times, God throws you a crazy vision of the future, and you need only wait for the circumstances to match. This past year, Becca and I have experienced primarily the first side of that coin. This week, we experienced the opposite: an opportunity that was an answer to prayer, the fruition of a desire we have had since we began life together almost three years ago.

Next week, we will be taking on the responsibility and joy of fostering eight little girls. When the MTC leadership approached us about this last Saturday, our first and immediate response was total excitement. For the last couple of years, we have known that we are called to “parenthood” beyond the beginning of our own biological family. Until this week, we didn’t know if that meant adoption, foster care in the US, or something else entirely. Now we know. It means living as “house mom and dad” for Alicia, Cristel, Galilea, Luz, Virginia, Mileni, Joanna, and Regina. In the beginning of February, we will move into a room at the children’s home to be close to the girls. It’s in this space that we will be doing our best to create a home environment with them – waking them up and putting them to sleep, reading them stories, putting them in time out (it’s bound to happen), baking, crying, and laughing together.

Beyond our excitement for taking on the joys, struggles, and daily needs of these girls, we are encouraged about what it means for the future of the children’s home and MTC. The idea is that the next 6-12 months with these girls will be a sort of “trial”, to see what transitioning the entire children’s home into family-style housing would look like. We are still quite a ways from that, but we are confident that this will be the start of something great.

While we are bolstered by our excitement and the fact that it’s actually an answer to prayer, this new role will certainly have its own set of challenges and questions. Please join us in prayer as we jump into this with both feet – and if you have any parenting advice, feel free to share. :)

We'll try to share updates, joys, and prayer requests as we step into this new role together. 

Love,

Brooklin & Becca